THE GIRL
Sunday, January 29, 2006
happy lunar new year! i was in the mood to update but after the phone call i just made.. forget it! argh!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
so life for me has been going rather ok. the days going by is rather slow but somewhat eventful and meaningful. i guess spending time with friends could never be any better. i look forward to the weekend cos thats when i can see the whole sha-bang. now that it is confirmed that i leaving the country i want to wake up with something to do. i wont be spending my 18th birthday here but all my friends will be close to heart
okae. so maybe i am getting a lil emotional, but i somehow cant help it. i know i still have a month here. but i dont have a month left to see my friends. i mean take away the chinese new year visiting, the school days, the boyfriend days, the family days, the working days, the "i am lazy to go out" days, i am like left with a whole (plus minus) 1 week. audrey is leaving on monday therefore thats left with one less friend.
i dont see a point to update abt what i have been doing because words really cant explain the feeling in me. but i guess i am happy. and i guess leaving the country would be the best option right now thats if i really wanna be somebody, but the question is ... do i really wanna be somebody?
i love you, and you, and you and especially you
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
i finally got my unconditional letter of offer. and now i am tired. and feeling sick.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
this all happened because of this guy! thanks nigel pierre farmer. i love you!
and to the girls so dear to my heart. i love you all too.. i thank god for giving these people to me!
so yesterday i met rach, bwee and sham to watch memoirs of a geisha. it was good! but most of the time i was turning to rachel asking her wats happening, only because she already read the book. i mean these kinda shows arent really my type, but somehow geisha attracted me. i liked it alot. slacked for a while at cartel with wayne, sham, bwee and krystle then headed home.
when i got home, grandpa was hungry, so we went to the coffeeshop together with mumpits and the small sissypoo-poo.
it was funny how i couldnt fall askleep last night. i only ended up slping around 730 this morning. i was up playing games and basically thinking about random shitt. anyhoos, rachel and cherm might be coming over for dinner. we're having mixed grill. yum! okae till next time
you are all i need to get me through
like a falling star i fell for you
Saturday, January 21, 2006
why do u all wanna trap me. i came home at 1.30. its not like i am taking drugs.
or selling myself for prostitution right? and u all wonder why i dont talk to you all
about anything. because i dont trust you all. especially YOU! you are not a good example
not at all. you dont deserve any of my respect. argh! you annoy me. please just leave me alone.
your full of shit!
Thursday, January 19, 2006
conditional offer letter. i want the uncoditional one! alama..stupid idp!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
so i finally went to do my passport today. and cherm was late as usual. we then headed down to bugis cos there is like this new "shopping mall" called icon. we walked around there then to bugis village. i bought.. soon after we headed for dinner at sketches. helmi *blushes* was working there. he is the guy i use to work with at coffee club Xpress. he's cute! then we took a bus back to the east side. then it was back to my crib. tried on my new clothes. parading around the house. now i am lying in the comforts of my bed after a nice warm shower and the scent of baby powder. molecule boy is back. but he chose not to call when he touched down. he decided that he needed to fill his stomach with chicken wings was far more imprtant. so nvm. i shall await his call and if he doesnt i will personally remove his manhood *wink*. so tomorrow i will be taking baby to the vet the i'll go for facial. prob go to drey's place for dinner and just hang. i am gonna miss miss miss her so so so so much. sigh.. i love that sweetie to bits. i havent taken any photos the past few days and i shall do them tomorrow. *edit* the lawyer wanted himself to be mentioned. so here you go hehe=) he's a real cherry pie with whipped cream on the top. i toss and turn in bed. cant get you out of my head. you don't wanna love me no more
i have been taking emo trips lately. i dont know why. my eye bags and dark circles are so prominent. i look like a drug addict. i do nothing but sip tea, watch tv, come online and sleep.
sotong boy called me yesterday and told me to stop depressing myself. but is there much i can do about it? just thinking about it makes me sick! i cant blog anymore
still counting the days to your arrival but it never seems to come
Sunday, January 15, 2006
it's funny how friends actually mean so much to a person
sometimes i feel lonely, thinking that my friends have found other an new friends
but i myself have taken my friends for granted at least once upon a time in my life
u dun realise how important ur friend is until u dun see them around very often
or when they are always caught up with things where ur timetables clash
i think back of all the happy times, the little cold wars that we shared
a friendship to me now, from where i see it is like a marriage
(of course without the sexual content in it)
just thinking about it puts on a simple smile on my face
and brings tears to my eyes
i love you all so so much.. i dont know what i'll do when i dont have u all around
i just have one wish, one wish.....
i dont want things to change when i am gone...
i love u all
will i wake to find you waiting by my bed side?
will i wake to find you waiting by my side?
being with the closest friends in the world. consuming shit loads of alcohol. taking emo trips and crying together, could not make the night anymore memorable.. these ppl are so dear to me i would trade anything to have them by my side all the time..
so today was spent going down to the australian university open house with mum. before that we went for novena the cabbed down to orchard hotel for the registration. where i got a place. now all i have to do is to pass them nmy cae results and i'll get my offer letter. then the whole procedure has to start of renewing my passport and visa. walked around a bit then headed home to wash up for mass.
cherm came to pick me up from church and we cabbed to 85 to meet jas and nigel where rachel joined us not long after. we ate so much it was not even funny la. from fried oyster to ostrich satay, which is just not my cup of tea. sting ray, my long awaited ba chor mee, lala, ah balling soup, chicken wings and 2 cups of sugar cane with lemon. i mean , HEY, i have to enjoy the hawker food before i leave to the land of the best smoothies and fresh strawberries. so i was contented. we slacked under the block for a while and then.... there came this 3 policeman who were doing their estate patrol. they took down our identification shit and chatted a lil with us. policeman are so so funny la... so now i am back home. in bed hoping to slp early. yesterday's insufficient slp of 2 hours after 10 glasses if champagne is starting to kick in. so yeah.
goodnight my lover. goodnight my friends. you are all so so beautiful
Saturday, January 14, 2006
so i got accepted into curtin international college in perth. excited? yes. scared? yes. but i hope everything goes well. the plan of going in june has been changed..i'll be leaving next month instead then i'll start school on march 1st. so if anyone wants to go to perth for holiday call me cos i am gonna be there for at least the next 3.5 years.
oh and mummu made me happy by bringing me there early for summer sale.. woohoo!! anyone wanna come with me?
Thursday, January 12, 2006
i feel so lonely today. with limited msgs from people. maybe the weather is just making me feel this way. molecule has gone to bangkok for a holiday. he claims he needs a break. with the weather like this, i dont know what the hell he is going to do there.. but who cares.
anyhoos, today i spent my day eating, creating and designing blogs, watching tv, cooking and giving cherm irritating calls. hehe. the last msg said "i cry and i want to die". she immediately called me thinking that i was going to kill myself. when mum got home i asked her if i could go for a party tomorrow and she was like "NO! stay home" i have been fucking staying home practically everyday la. i mean no doubt i think the girls wanna club, i am not in a clubbing mood. i just wanna hang with them, being around them makes me not think of stuff which i dont think is necessary to think about.
i am so bored these days that i have even sort of planned out all the things i need to buy before i leave for aussie. like all the asian condiments and stuff. someone please save me. do i even sound or am normal around u these days. i feel so dhfcuhegrfhubewrfujh3ij(*@&#*(!*. even i cant describe it.. ok wait. maybe i am just crazy!
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It's time to get PLAYED.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
i am so bored i think i am gonna kill myself. my ass hurts from just sitting around and waiting. every bit of my strength and attention has been wasted on nothing else but waiting. shoot me!
i am so sorry about the things i had to tell you.but i am sure i did the right thing.i hope things will be better between us.esp when u come back from banging cock.=)no more molecule boy, now its back to mr nus.
Monday, January 09, 2006
my life is just a mess. they don't want to give me money yet they dont want me to work. what the fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! *screams* *cries*
i need to get a hold if myslef. i need to be ignorant about the things happening around me and just put up a show. i feel like i am in the sept 11 th incident or the tsunami. where i have lost someone but instead if losing that someone so close to heart, i have lost my sanity, my soul, my spirit. there's no bright side for me to turn to, i am surrounded by total darkness. i feel cold and alone. i can feel that this year is gonna be horrible, the beginning of the year has already been ruined. how could this happen to me? i mean everyone makes me mistakes. but why is everyone pointing their finger at me,i know i wasted a year, i wasted money. you cant expect me to decide what i want to do in the future at the age of 16. my perceptions of life changes when i see the world. daddy told me that your career is built in you since u were young. just fuck offfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. my aim in life is to die you!
i feel like crap. my world is crumbling. himbo is extinct. whether it is a good thing or not i don't know but... ARGH! shoot me please. but ya whatever.. happy fucking birthday to u phuckerrrr!!
(edit)
i need to get out. i need something in life to look forward to right now. i need so much right now. i need to feel warm inside again. my head is a mess. i feel so cold as a person. i don't know how to treat someone right now. maybe i should just stay inside till i feel a fucking shit load better.so everyone please leave me alone and give me sometime till i feel better. and please dont ask me why... pleeeease (i beg)
Sunday, January 08, 2006
the week has passed by so slowly. i think i am gonna start work soon with jordan. Tomorrow is himbo's birthday and they don't even give him leave for today eventhough he i s doing practically nothing in camp. he only gets to book out 6 hours before his bdae ends only because the next day is hari raya haji. cruel i say cruel...
iloveyoushoshomuch
Saturday, January 07, 2006
tada! but it is still not complete
Friday, January 06, 2006
as u can see, i am just to free. i have been blogging like crazy.although my entries have been totally meaningless and lame. i really have nothing to do. everyone is either schooling or working. i am a total slacker. i cant find a job. maybe i should just go work in macdonalds. haha NEVER! that day when neek went to apply for crazy horse under eng wah organization, they were only paying the ushers and ticketers 3.80. talk about free labour. stupid la k.
so i think i shall just stick to the idea of rotting at home or going over to my dad's company to work as his secretary. he's company is offering me about 1000 bucks including cpf. so like my take home salary would be arounf 700. where got enough one?*with cheena piang accent*.
but thats if i really cant find a job thats paying a minimum wage of 1.2k la.
so the past 2 days have been great. quarreless conversations with sotong boy makes me look forward to talking to him. i actually miss him i must say. although i try not to. his birthday is coming up. exciting!!! 22 yr old MAN! haha.he's such a himbo at times. he told me yesterday that he should be getting his leave in april. then i guess he'll be busy preparing to leave for aussie as well. how cool right! he's going too! and our school's are like 15 mins apart! he's so cute sometimes and he simply drives me crazy!
my sexy father and his bald spot on his head
Thursday, January 05, 2006
staying at home is super boring so i decided to start drawing. haha. i am such a loser. i was looking at my past art pieces and questioned myself if i could really draw and paint like that. since i have decided to go to the design faculty in uni i took out my left over drawing paper from architecture and started. kinda stupid i know but i have been doing the whole damn day. here's the pics....
this was when i just sketched it out
this was with the shading
and now i am slowly colouring it
talk about no life or what. haha. but i actually enjoy it surprisingly. i can recall the days where i use to hate aret like shit. but thing is that i have grown to love and appreciate it. the techniques involved are so beautiful. whether it is computer designed, photography... its really an art. ok now its time for me to shut up and get back to my colouring. i love it when u tell me u miss me
i am just gonna leave u with pics. i am too lazy to update and besides there is nothing much to update about except for the fact that i love sotong boy.
Monday, January 02, 2006
so we spent the night talkin, quarrelling, hanging up, ignoring each other but now everything is ok.. i am a happy happy girl. and the boy drives me crazy
Sunday, January 01, 2006
happy new year!!!(and i am 18 this year.. woopee!)